The Healing Power of Oxytocin: Love Over the Love of Power

As a holistic psychologist and artist, I’ve long believed that love is the ultimate medicine. But science is now showing us what many spiritual traditions have always known: love—real, grounded, safe love—heals. At the heart of this healing process is a remarkable neurochemical called oxytocin.

In her book Eat Like a Girl, Dr. Mindy Pelz introduces the idea of a hormonal hierarchy—where oxytocin sits at the top. When we release oxytocin, it has a calming ripple effect throughout our entire hormonal system, most notably reducing cortisol, the primary stress hormone. This tells our body: you’re safe now.

In contrast, many of us operate under the tyranny of cortisol—fueled by deadlines, overstimulation, and constant “doing.” Our culture often glorifies control and productivity, but this “love of power” can leave our nervous systems frazzled. Oxytocin reminds us of the power of love—and its ability to soften, soothe, and connect.

What Oxytocin Does (and Why It Matters)

• Reduces cortisol: Signals your nervous system to switch from fight-or-flight to rest-and-digest.
• Improves emotional regulation: Helps us feel grounded, seen, and supported.
• Boosts resilience: Builds trust, connection, and a deeper sense of safety in the world.

Ways to Boost Oxytocin (Holistic & Research-Backed)

Drawing from TJ Power’s The DOSE Effect and other studies, here are ways to increase oxytocin in daily life:

1. Hug for 20 seconds – Long, heartfelt hugs release oxytocin and tell your system: “I’ve got you.”
2. Gentle touch & massage – Pet your dog, hold hands, or give a back rub. Touch fosters emotional repair.
3. Face-to-face connection – Look someone in the eyes. Real presence matters more than texts or DMs.
4. Acts of kindness – A handwritten note, a warm smile, or a sincere compliment uplifts both giver and receiver.
5. Sing or move together – Group drumming, singing, dancing, or even walking in sync boosts oxytocin.
6. Shared rituals – Whether it’s tea with a friend, circle or group, painting together, or lighting a candle before journaling, rituals create sacred connection.
7. Gratitude – Regularly expressing thanks is a proven way to elevate oxytocin and deepen trust.
8. Nature time with a loved one – The calming effect of nature is amplified when shared.
9. Breathwork and meditation – Especially when practiced in groups, these enhance oxytocin and soothe the heart.
10. Caring for others – Whether parenting, nurturing pets, or tending to a garden, oxytocin flourishes in caregiving.

Why This Is More Than Just Self-Care

This isn’t fluff. Oxytocin is the antidote to emotional disconnection, loneliness, and stress. It helps us anchor into safety—biologically. And from that safety, healing becomes possible.

When we talk about the power of love, it’s not just metaphorical. It’s molecular.

By choosing connection over competition, presence over productivity, and love over the love of power, we quite literally change our chemistry and shift the energy around us.

Your Daily Oxytocin Practice

Light a candle. Put on your favourite calming playlist. Sip a warm drink while journaling or calling a friend. Slow down. Breathe. Touch something (or someone!) with love.

These small acts can become sacred—and profoundly transformative.

✨ Explore More in the Art of Wellness Toolkit

The Art of Wellness Toolkit is filled with practices that nurture connection—to self, others, and something greater. Through breath, creativity, movement, and mindfulness, we can tap into the healing wisdom of oxytocin and return to our natural state: open-hearted, whole, and connected.

💬 What fills your oxytocin cup? A cuddle? A chat with someone you love? Let me know in the comments or share this post with someone who brings you calm.

With love, Popi Iatrou
Holistic Psychologist & Artist